Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Sharing love & conquering fears ♥

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Happy valentines day lovely people!

This post is a bit of a longer one to make up for my last, very short, blog entry ;)

So, today is valentines day :) It has been a lovely day & filled with so much happiness & love :) So I thought I'd share a few things :)

 Here are my gorgeous flowers from my lovely boyfriend - red roses! They are absolutely stunning!
 This card was handmade by the lovely Becca :) I got that & the lolly through the post which was such a nice surprise!
 This is a 'Lush' bathbomb i got from mum & dad :) I had it in my bath this morning and it was so nice & creamy!
I made these hearts for my mum, dad & sister & bought them a chocolate teddy to go with them :) I left them out on the side last night as I knew I wouldn't be up in time to give it to them as they were both going to work. They all really enjoyed them!
 Abi made me home-made pancakes this morning (my fav!) which was ever so lovely :)
 I send text messages to a lot of my friends & posted this photo to show them how much they mean to me!

Michael planned a super lovely ME friendly day for me :) I had a rest in the morning, then in the afternoon we went out for lunch, an ice cream & a little push along the beach :) Then we came home and watched FRIENDS :) Perfect day :)

So what did you do for valentines day? I don't think valentines day is all about girlfriends/boyfriends. I think its a lot to do with sharing your love, showing people that you care for them & enjoying what you have :) Yes, why should valentines day be different to every other day, you should really love your family/friends/boyfriends/girlfriends just as much every day, but I really think today is about celebrating this love :)

Enough with love now ;) What I really wanted to talk about was fears.

You are only born with two fears. Falling & loud noises. Everything else you have 'picked up' a long the way. This could be because of an experience like getting bitten by a dog, making you afraid of dogs. It could be having a dream when you were younger about getting run over, making you scared of driving. You could be scared of the dark or being alone in the house from horror movies. Or, you could be afraid of spiders because every time your parent saw a spider she would scream! Every single fear apart from falling & loud noises are caused by a trigger. Sometimes you are unaware of what it is &sometimes you know.

I have lots of fears, a lot of them I think are totally irrational and I think 'why in the world am I scared of that'. But you can't help it, as soon as you get put in that situation your body kicks in and your fear evolves. There are a lot of things you can do for conquering fears however, a lot of which I have discussed with my psychologist and are actually very interesting.  These seem to be the two main psychological approaches:

  1. The 'ladder' approach. You build up to your fears. For example, if you are scared of needles, the first 'step' of the ladder would be looking at a photo on the internet, then looking at a real needle, then holding a needle, then finally getting an injection. This is a really good approach as you can see you are improving, but also you can break the ladder up into as many different steps as you need.
  2. 'Jumping into the deep end'. This is quite a hard one really. I think its quite a harsh approach, but sometimes works. You put yourself in your feared situation. And wait.. Like, if you had social anxiety for example, you would go to a busy place and talk to people. You find you anxiety levels decrease the longer you stay, and sometimes you overcome your fear. The problem with this is consistency. I have done this method before, and unless you put yourself into that situation a number of times continually, it won't actually help. Also, throwing yourself into the deep end is tough, sometimes you get so anxious about it before it feels like torture, and that's not supposed to be the outcome effect. So it really depends on your fears and the severity. 
Of course, there are other options than those. There are lots of techniques psychologists use, and also therapy's like hypnosis. 

But you have to remember, these fears aren't with you for life. A lot of them evolve around you really, when your situation changed, you change. But I wanted to share with you one of my experiences of overcoming fears..

I am terrified of spiders. Even the really small ones, I'll scream and make a right fuss about it, especially if its big. We went a long to a place where they had a bug exhibit on. They had lots of spiders. It took me awhile to even get used to seeing them, but before you knew it, the man asked if I'd like to hold one, and I said yes! :o So surprised, and so so proud of myself :D This was definitely the 'throw yourself into the deep end' technique though. Yes, It hasn't worked brilliantly, as I know I will still get scared if a spider runs across my floor, but now I can think 'come on man, you've managed to hold a hell of a lot bigger spider before, don't panic!'

So I am really pleased with myself for doing it, and smiling through it! My next animal related fear is rats/mice, but i can't even look at them without getting panicky so I'm working up to it now :)

Do you have any fears? Have you conquered your fears?  I would love to know! Email me: kate.louise.xox@gmail.com

Don't forget to enter the competition on the right, only 3 day left! Good luck :)


lots of love, kate x


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